(note: this was written two nights ago, I finally got around to publishing it today)

Dear Canyon boy;  (or as Grandpa Neves calls you...'new baby")

Tomorrow is your big day.
Cake, ice cream, balloons, the whole works.
You will love it,
actually you will hate it and cry...
and you will reach out for me as I busily walk past, just wishing someone would put you to bed...
But I'll have no time for you...
Tomorrow is a busy, busy day.
You are the guest of honor and you are required for pictures and presents,
cake and more pictures.
again, you will hate it.
Tomorrow is your first birthday!

In just a few short minutes the clock will mercilessly tick past midnight starting a new day and you will no longer be a baby.

And there's not one darn thing I can do about it.

I'd be lying if I said I haven't been a little weepy all day today.

Grandpa calls you "new baby" because you were the newest baby in the family when he and Grandma left almost a year ago.
He made me promise we would save all your growing up for when he returned home.
 Now how am I going to explain?

Just look at you.
As I sit at the computer typing this, you are sleeping restlessly next to me on the couch.

Every few minutes you toss and turn...caught in your blanket, cry and give up and slip back to sleep.
Of course you are tired, you cried and fussed most of the day today.
Maybe it's because you are teething, maybe it's because we had an early morning, or maybe it's because you are in protest about the whole "growing up" thing.

I'd cry and protest too if I thought it would do any good.
I feel like yelling..."not fair!"

It seems like just yesterday, you and I were right here in this Heavenly moment.
It is hardly possible that you were once this little.
Now, a year later...the minute I pick you squirm to get down.

I guess the memory of you lying softly on my chest while I sing to you will just have to be saved in my thoughts for a rainy day.

You outgrew my singing a long time ago.

Ok, deep breath...

Tonight baby..I am writing to tell you how lucky your first year was.

Yep, as lucky as a wink.

First of all, you were born lucky. Number seven...the luckiest number of them all.

Just think of how impenetrable your immune system quickly became with all the kisses from older brothers and sisters.

Secondly, you are so lucky to have family and friends that love you. Amazingly we haven't alienated everyone with our announcements of a due date every year and a half.

Thirdly, you have very hip parents. Not all babies are allowed to sport a fauxhawk, the latest in edgy baby hair fashion...only the cool ones.

Fourth, You were so lucky to be born right before the busy summer months.
You were hauled everywhere.
Imagine how boring it would've been to stay home and sleep peacefully in your bassinet.

Instead, you were carted around the Zoo at River's Kindergarten field trip when you were just two weeks old. (why didn't someone just shake me?)

Fifth, your taste buds are lucky. Left to you own devices most of the time, you were allowed to eat anything you could get your chubby little hands on.
Most babies eat pureed Organic Squash, just so you know.

Sixth, You are lucky you rank pretty high on the cuteness scale...because the trail of chaos you created on a daily basis got real old, real fast.
The worst of it was too traumatizing to be documented with pictures. 

Seventh, most people only have one were born with two. Lucky!

Eighth, you came along so late in the game that your Dad and I made all our mistakes on the first six. You got made in the shade baby!

So Canyon...I survived your first year. The diaper changing, 2 a.m. feedings, crying for no reason, loads of extra laundry, the teething, the destroying anything within your reach.

Consider yourself lucky.

 Ah...who am I kidding, I am the lucky one.

It's all downhill from here kid.
        Happy Birthday baby.


Nick and Amera said…
chills from head to toe on this post. You are the best example to me Hil. I look to mom's like you to help me understand what it means to be a good mom. This post cracks me up, made me cry and in so many ways I could relate. Nick and I are trying to decide if we're done having babies..... Nick is done....I am done being pregnant but I want a newborn laying on my chest so bad :( I just dont know if I want to raise another one. I cant decide. But you, you have raised yoru babies all so well, both you and your awesome hubby! I love your family! Your kids are so beautiful and happy! I love the pictures of Canyon getting into the garbage...and his double chin....OH man, no wonder we are always baby hungry! Double chins arent as cute when they are 15 years old!!! hahaha. I totally Love you lots its not even funny :)
Linda said…
Hilary you are amazing and definitely inspiring to me! Thank you for sharing this post! Definitely brought a smile to my face and a lump in my throat. Love ya! :)
Saffron Grass said…
Hil I don't think you should mention 'made in the shade' a little too much information don't you think?

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