1-    TV is a luxury, not a lifeline. 

2-    One wet towel per child, per day.

3-    One Otter pop every 5 minutes per child, per day. (meh, they do it anyway)

4-    Playing a game on your ipod, while watching TV and at the same time listening to music is not cool...it's a cry for help  

5-    If you are wrapped up in a blanket sipping hot chocolate... turn down the AC

6-    Work equals play .... (the kids all look at each other then laugh hysterically)

7-     Teasing and whining are equal forms of torment and will be punished swiftly.

8-    Running in the sprinklers requires a minimum of thirty minutes of play outside before you can decide you want to come in.

9-    Handfuls of potato chips and a bite from the brick of cheese 
in the refrigerator is not acceptable. (and i will find you...)

10-    Otter Pops do not need to be microwaved because they are "too frozen".

11-    One outfit change per day, per child (ahem...Lauren)

12-    Leftovers are an acceptable source of food in most cultures, I promise.

13- A nap at 8:00 pm is called "going to bed" - not "resting up" for the big night (ahem...Brett)

14-  A debit card is not magic. Money has to go in first before it can be used.

15-  "I'll be home at 11:30" does not translate into; "Yo mom, I'll come home when I'm good and ready to come home" (ahem...Brett)

16-    You can't save ice cream in a bag in your room for later.

17-    If the temperature is over 90 degrees, please do not lean on me, touch my leg, stand next to me, touch me with your feet, breath on me, read over my shoulder, or otherwise come in contact with me.

18-    Wet, dirty, sandy, muddy, stinky clothes do not wash themselves.

19-   Breakfast at 11:00 a.m. is actually called lunch.

20-    Sleeping arrangements shouldn't be a mystery every night, neither should bedtimes.

21-    Keep your requests for a sleepover or to go fishing, swimming, or to drive you up town to meet friends, to a minimum of 23 times per day, per child.  

22-    The neighbors don't think you are nearly as cute as I do, and that's not saying much.

23-    Clothing is not optional.

24-    No you can't swim in the irrigation ditch, light firecrackers, ride bikes to the lake, sell mud pies, or roam the neighborhoods...
or do anything else that I did as a kid...
I don't know why, you just can't!

25-    If all else fails, GO OUTSIDE!

26-   And finally,  for heaven's sakes...
shut the back door!! be quiet! stop fighting!... mommy's taking a nap ;)


(a two minute video of the girl who needs to be everything)       So far my hobby has been micro-managing my kids and as rewardi...