10.06.2010

Extra, Extra, read all about it.

When I started this post two weeks ago,
Utahan's and Californians alike were enjoying a
warmer than usual Fall.
 I decided to take advantage of your gullibility dear reader,
and pull a fast one -
and before Summer gets away (oh who am I kidding...it's long gone.)
and in effort to feed my blogging habits (it's a sickness)
and to keep my missionary parents informed (yes they have Blogger in Africa)
and because a few pictures on my camera were screaming 
"yo, what about us?"

and so I wrote about our summer...

here it is
in the middle of October;
 I give you..

"How I spent my summer vacation" by Hilary

Newspaper headline style ...
*School's out -scream and shout! 
(Kids do the screaming - mother does the shouting, all summer long...
just ask the neighbors)



*Pretty hair and a weak stomach 
conspire together for a miserable first night at girls camp  
(camp leaders claim they were not given adequate warning of Lauren's
track record of throwing up anytime and everytime she goes camping)

 *Cute, agreeable one year old turns into an aggravating, uncooperative two year old terror overnight.
(Family huddles in bathroom too afraid to come out)
*Baby boy draws huge crowd in his honor
(and ironically sleeps the whole time.)



*Clouds gathered, coughed and sputtered
and gave us rain for the first few weeks of summer.
(darn you Mother Nature!)

* Sighting of Loch Ness Monster in local pond is reported; (children return to scene with fishing equipment.) 

* Pre-teen girl gathers courage 
and cuts off  twelve inches of hair.
(Decides NOT to donate it to charity,
 instead places trimmed ponytail under pillow for the "HAIR FAIRY")
After

               *Study finds most children enjoy swimming. (Backyard swimming pool just one cannonball away from becoming basement irrigation)





* Falling asleep when, where and however one likes is commonplace in the summer months. (Shirts and beds optional)

* Mother becomes giddy as all her dreams are realized when she takes her children to an old-fashioned Drive-In Theater.
(She was quoted as saying "I can die a happy woman now.") 


* Phillies take second in the State tournament. (MVP Brett Roberts takes a mouth full of dirt as he does a Superman slide across home plate to score the winning run.)


*Family dog receives first bath ever.
Then immediately rolls around in roadkill. 
("Outside dog" status remains)




*Daughter wins third place in week-long state tournament then asks...
"can we do something fun now?"
(Mother almost runs off the road)   
 
Related story: *Family gives up and decides to just literally live at the ballpark.






*Teenager claiming he had "no idea" regarding 
toilet paper incident 
(mother secretly honored.)

* Fourth of July in Utah County -As good as it gets. 
(Parents decide to eat out with children to encourage 
good manners and teach dining etiquette.) 
(There is nothing cuter than hearing Kal say to our waiter
 "excuse me sir,
could you please refill my drink whenever you get a minute?
... but right now?")


(Available lawn space for viewing fireworks in Provo is scarce,
unless you join a bunch of lonely BYU co-eds outside their dorms.)




*Wonderful Wyoming hosts baseball tournaments as well as Pioneer Trekkers, on the same weekend ~
(Census Bureau notes population increase.)


*Mother comes home to find storage room destroyed
and boxes emptied into one big pile.
Children claimed they needed boxes for fort.
(Amazingly all the children were allowed to live.) 

*Family gets together to celebrate parents absence! 
(*correction* "family to celebrate even in parents absence.)
 




*Moon Ranch Homestead hosts Roberts Reunion each year.
(Hungry bear not happy with the noise, vows to break up the party next year)  




*Teenage son and father make work a family affair.
(Father and son bond over Big Macs, guy talk, and making fun of mom)


*July 24th Spanish Fork Fiesta Days doesn't disappoint.
(Three prized Carnival goldfish die rather expectedly the next day)




(Local girl Indy blue (my niece) makes family proud as Lindon City Royalty) 



(Husband not a parade fan...or could you not tell?) 




*High temperatures prompt family to retreat to traditional favorite swimming hole 
(Either that or they are just too darn cheap to go to Seven Peaks)

 


 


*Walmart seems to be the location for many family firsts.
(First lost tooth, first steps, first mental breakdown etc.)






















  

* Family claims middle age man doesn't look a day over twenty.
(man spends birthday forking over money for school clothes and drowning sorrows in cheesecake.)





*Baby Brother of the family becomes big daddy.
(Family gathers for usual free food, corny jokes and ditching church)






*"Hike to the Y" is considered
the greatest accomplishment of all time! (for all underachieving families)   
       

*Best time to waterski at Deer Creek is just before a great big, dark thunderstorm rolls across Mt. Timp.
(no wonder we were the only ones on the lake...those whimps!)




*Teenage son declares Storytelling Festival and Education week
 "too good to be true!" (smartaleck little punk)




*Woman decides to do all school shopping with all kids in one day.  (Mall employees sign petition to have mother committed)


*Eighteen shots between five kids. School immunizations are a nessesary evil. (children refuse to cry)

*New park opens Labor Day Weekend (After housework, the children were promised a reward. Who knew a $5.00 footlong and a free local park outing would be the acceptable ticket.)
HOORAY FOR SUMMER
HOORAY FOR FREEDOM
HOORAY FOR FAMILIES

HOORAY FOR BACK TO SCHOOL!


                                 Well, that's all she wrote folks!
                                        ...now lets all go take a nap. we deserve it.

5 comments:

Sorensen's said...

I loved all of it!!! Hilary, your family is so cute. I don;t know how you do it, but I would give you mother of they year!

Saffron Grass said...

it's too late. I am already Mother of the Year 2010

Anne said...

You have such a cute family! Your blog posts are very entertaining too!

Platt Lucky 7 said...

What a great summer :)

Molly said...

I love to read your blog, you do such a good job!! Looks like you guys had a fun summer. Your kids are all so dang cute, I can't believe how big they are getting!!!

MY HELPLESS TEENAGE DAUGHTER

(a two minute video of the girl who needs to be everything)       So far my hobby has been micro-managing my kids and as rewardi...