My four year old Kal woke up Sunday morning pinching everyone
and wishing all a "Happy St. Conference Day!"
Now, I'm really not sure who reads my blog.
I used to just write for my sister and my friend Randi,
cause I thought they were my only readers.
But, if you are reading this and you don't know what General Conference is...
General Conference is a semi-annual gathering of church members of our faith where we listen and watch inspirational messages and instruction from our church leaders.
or as usually happens around here;
a semi-annual day to skip church,
eat junk food,
and get on each other's nerves.
Kal thought the whole day sounded like a Holiday.You see, with Valentines Day a distant memory...
and St.Patrick's Day just a few weeks ago and April Fools Day just a few days ago, my four year old assumed that we were indeed celebrating something, anything again.
Do you remember being four? Everything is a big deal.
...was a big deal.
Everyone dressed up.
Wade even grew some festive colored facial hair.
I told Wade it would be best to just rip off his mustache with one motion.
*Wade wanted me to make sure you knew his eyes were just watering, those are NOT tears.
On April Fools Day I did my typical tricks.
The 'ol "tying string around the kids' rooms during the night" trick.
The 'ol "fake parking ticket on the husband's car at work" trick.
The 'ol "peanut butter under the handle of husband's car" trick.
(he DID fall for this one!)
The 'ol "fingernail polish on important documents" trick.
(he didn't fall for this one and in fact pointed out that I obviously have way too much time on my hands)
This last one was my favorite.
I snuck out the night before and placed these signs on the back of Dean's car.
Somehow he saw them the next morning and kindly transferred them to my car.
And then I unknowingly drove around town all day while strangers honked at me.
In fact, I pulled up to a gas station and while I was pumping my gas, the car behind me honked. Twice.
I gave them a dirty look, shook my head and cussed them in my mind for honking at me.
I didn't clue in until later that afternoon.
I love April Fools Day and usually never fall for anything.
But some friends got me good this year by placing a baby announcement with balloons
on our front yard for all the neighborhood to see.
by the way..ahem..IT'S NOT TRUE!
Now back to Conference.
We usually start out sitting together as a family, around our old school TV with the volume turned all the way up and with the closed captioning on for added effect.
I love conference, really I do.
We have such good intentions, really we do.
I give the kids some treats, word searches and match games.
We let them get comfortable, bring coloring books and crayons.
And then somewhere between the opening song and the first speaker, it all falls apart.
I remind them to sit up and listen,
I remind them of their age.
I tell them to shush about a hundred times.
I tell them quit wrestling each other.
I tell them to keep their hands to themselves.
I threaten to send them to their rooms,
...until I realize that's exactly where they want to be.
I threaten to have them sit with their Dad,
...until I realize that he is part of the problem.
And so it goes for the next four hours.
I start out in my "Primary President Mom Mode" talking sweet and kind to everyone.
But by the end of the first hour, I am in my "Drill Sergeant Mom Mode."Shhh...
Leave her alone!...
Share with your brother...
No, you can't listen with your eyes closed.
No, you can't go to the bathroom again...
No, you can't walk to Grandma's to see if she is watching...
Everybody BE QUIET RIGHT NOW so we can feel the spirit!~
Sometimes I decide to join them.
And finally as I hear the closing song "God be with you till we meet again"
I take a deep breath knowing that the fight is over.
I feel like a failure realizing that General Conference won't come around for another six months,
and I wondered if any of us even heard a single word.
Through it all,
General Conference weekend remains one of my favorite "Holidays" of the year.
Happy St. Conference Day and to all...and to all a goodnight!